Monday, September 21, 2009


Caught up with my nana, cousin and her 4 month old baby boy today. Had a really nice time. I can't help but think of my little bub every time I see them. You see, the miscarriage I had last year, in October, well that baby was due a week after my cousin's baby. So that lost baby would be roughly the same age as hers. It doesn't hurt to see her, or the baby. But it does leave me with an intense longing. When will I ever be able to have my next one? I really am truly grateful for my wonderful son. He is truly amazing. And I'm not letting my desire for another one get in the way of enjoying Jordan. Otherwise (if, God forbid, I never get to have another one) I could miss all these wonderful years with Jordan while constantly dreaming about the next one - which isn't fair to him.

Hoping, praying, that this is the month.

PS. My sister in law is pregnant (she is due a week after I was due with the one I lost a couple of months ago) and just had her 20 week scan. That was a hard one to swallow :-/

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