not a fun week

So in the last week my wonderful precious friend lost her baby. I'm just so sad, and she is being so strong.
And I got my period. Ugh. Another month gone. I was really hoping for this month. This month would have ensured a baby around my 26th birthday. I thought it would be the best birthday gift. I thought God would have granted me that. I have to trust in His timing, I just don't understand it.
I do have mixed feelings about it though, I would have felt bad telling my friend of my wonderful news just days after getting her sad news. But I can't help but feeling deflated, and sad. I just want this baby so much. This month we're going to be very 'active' in trying. Every second day after my period finishes we'll have sex (or at least try to) until my next period is due. That's like 3 weeks!! Ha ha. Dean wont know what hit him. I just don't want to waste this month. Last month I just couldn't get into it. And the days I could, weren't the 'right' days. It's really no great surprise that I didn't fall pregnant this month.
Anyway, I'm exhausted. Going to bed.